involvingmeinvolvingyou:

If you wanna be my lover

You’ve gotta throw huge parties to get my attention and get your neighbor to invite me over for tea then let me run over my husband’s mistress in your car 

8,849 notes Posted on May/17/2013

shmegel:

preferred pronouns: old sport

17,366 notes Posted on May/15/2013

rodneykong:

fun pranks: when no one’s looking shoot archduke ferdinand and start a world war

90,502 notes Posted on May/11/2013

stabla:

when ever there’s a chase scene in a film and some fruit stall gets knocked over i always feel really bad because what if that’s the fruit guys only source of income and his wife has left him and he has a kid in hospital with cancer i want to know more about the fate of the fruit seller does he get it together and turn his life around or is it the last straw for him we’ll never know

76,789 notes Posted on May/5/2013

chandelure:

Why talk about friend zones when you can talk about Frozone

36,778 notes Posted on May/5/2013

squidwurd:

you cant blame amanda bynes for acting out, her mother is lost in a hot air balloon, have a heart for christ sake.

214 notes Posted on May/5/2013

bryko:

bryko:

how the fuck does Old Man Jenkins weigh 250 pounds if Spongebob weighs 1 ounce

81,121 notes Posted on May/3/2013

simplypotterheads:

Right now, both sides are tending to their dead and injured and Harry is walking through the forest to meet Voldemort. Alone.

14,067 notes Posted on May/2/2013

luststrade:

swaggie: je swag, tu swags, il/elle/on swag, nous swagons, vous swagez, ils/elles swagent

34,943 notes Posted on May/1/2013